Ups and Downs

What a day! Sometimes, I feel like my whole day is about keeping the peace - whether it's between kids (my own), or dogs (my own), I just try to keep things even, calm and safe.

At this moment, little Chief and Charlie are playing like mad, chasing back and forth with no regard for furniture or people. Limits? Ummmm not at the moment.

In the car ride home from school, my boys were wild - which isn't the norm. I'm glad they're big enough for one to sit in the front seat. Otherwise, I would not have been able to maintain safety. But around every corner, one of them had a jab for the other, or had to say something really loud. I could not say one word that would contain them. So I let it go.

Sometimes, you just have to let it all go and let them learn for themselves - dogs or boys.

I spent a couple of hours today with some foster pups at the Shelter. These little bundles are Corgi mixes. The mom is the sweetest thing in the world (well, not as sweet as my foster mom...) And these 6 puppies are tiny and furry and cuddly and wonderful. I couldn't believe that to nurse, the mom stands up, tall (for a Corgi) and the pups roll over on their backs and gently suck. So different from Chief's litter!

I got some wonderful puppy kisses that brought back all kinds of memories.

Then I took Chief to his first official training class. He'd been going to puppy play group at UnLeashed for weeks. Finally, it was time for "sit" and "down" and "stay" and all the rest. The trainers are so awesome at UnLeashed. You get the basics and so much more. I learn a ton every time I go. Tonight, Chief tested out of Level 1! A huge accomplishment for my 5 month old, butt-head, energy ball disguised as a puppy.

I know these milestones are more for the humans than the dogs, but that means a lot! I put in my time and try to train this guy. If all I get out of it is a good dog and a certificate, I'm happy. He did amaze me though. I thought he'd be easily distracted by the other dogs and the birds in the barn. But he whipped himself into training mode and showed off for everyone.

This dog is different from the other dogs I've had. He's all or nothing. He's pushing the boundaries all the time, every minute. And if I give him an inch, he'll take the mile and keep it forever and ever and ever. So I'm on guard. But I'm on guard in a fun way.

In the past, I'd viewed dogs more like property than like companions. I'm not proud of this. I thought you were supposed to control your dogs (I'm sure I could rack up some hefty therapy bills trying to figure that out...). But since I've had kids, my attitudes have changed. Why spend time with kids or dogs unless you're going to have some fun?

So my new goal is to have more fun with my dogs. And just today, I discovered a low wall on our usual walk. I invited Charlie to jump up on it and walk along. Chief is too small. That made Charlie so proud and Chief so jealous. But they need that - they're different dogs! I can't wait to get Charlie to prance and jump over stuff on that wall. He'll have a blast. Yes, eventually Chief will master it too.

What did I learn today? What did I accomplish? What do I care? I had a great day doing nothing and doing everything for the humans and the dogs that I love.

House trained???

How do you know when your puppy is house trained? Chief hasn't had an accident in the house for days, maybe even a week. But can I trust that? (now that I've said it out loud, I know tomorrow will be all about cleaning up messes...)

The last puppy we had, Floyd, just died in the fall at 14 years old. He was easy to train because we had another dog who showed him the ropes. I don't remember that he had accidents. But maybe that's selective memory on my part. I do, clearly recall that when he was about 6 years old, he lifted his leg on the coffee table one morning. I prefer to think that it was because that coffee table had seen better days and really needed to be removed from our house. Did my dog have the fashion sense that I lack?

I now leave the dogs alone in the house, with access to the backyard when I'm gone for an hour or two. And I don't crate either of them. So far so good - no accidents, nothing chewed to bits. But I'm sure it's just a matter of time. Chief is only 14 or 15 weeks old.

I took them both to the dog park today. We've been avoiding it lately because Charlie got scared by some dog. So whenever we'd go, Charlie would trot out of the dog park area and into the kids' playground. That wasn't too popular. But today, we went later, when there were only 2 or 3 dogs there. Charlie did fine, chasing his ball, lounging in the grass, rolling in the deer scents. Chief played with a Lab/Ridgeback mix. The best thing was that a Bloodhound reminded Chief how to respect his elders. Chief initially ran up to him, jumped on him, but backed down when he heard the warning growl. After that, Chief approached with a submissive posture and didn't get in her face. That's what he needs. Chief is dominant and Charlie lets him get his way. My challenge continues to be trying to find a balance between nature (one dog is dominant) and my idea of fairness (shouldn't the older dog set the rules?).

The greatest help I have is training classes. Unleashed! is awesome. Chief and I have been going to puppy play classes (with some training thrown in...) and Charlie and I have been going to Levels classes. I know, it's sort of dog-training-intensive, but maybe I'll get it right this time.

My next goal: post some photos of my dogs when they're not sleeping! It must seem like they're always at rest. Truly, this is the exception - but it's the only time I can capture them.

Chief and I are back!

I can't believe it's been a month since all of this puppy stuff ended. The laundry room and garage that they took over, will forever be the puppy area. And I can't do a load of wash or get into my car without thinking about every one of them. I am truly the luckiest person on earth (or at least in Petaluma) to have enjoyed their early days.

So what's been happening with them? Chief has settled in very well with our family. He loves loves loves Charlie and Charlie has decided that he didn't really like being an only dog. They don't sleep together, but they play hard and rough, stealing each others toys and then go out to lie in the sun on the deck.

Chief also likes the cat, Hunter. And Hunter doesn't seem to mind that Chief will drag him around by the scruff. But that behavior makes me crazy, so Chief has spent his share of time on the tie down...

I've been taking Chief to puppy play class. One evening, Emma, Bailey and Coco showed up! It was so incredible to see these 4 together again. I think they recognized each in other in the way that you do when you haven't seen your siblings in a while - Hey, dude, what's new? Really? Remember that time you escaped from the pen? Let's wrestle like we used to when we were little. Not that hard! You're hurting me, stop. What, there's a new toy, here, you take it first - a sight to see!

Emma seemed to recognize me and wanted to crawl into my lap. I couldn't believe it. I know they'd been used to my voice and my mannerisms and my pant legs. But it had been weeks. She's a sweet girl and I will pay her way through college for that!

I've heard from friends of other puppy sightings. Someone's been bringing their puppy to Arams. Another was spotted by the movie theater. I hope no one minds the attention these puppies will get forever from people who may seem like strangers to their current owners. You know if I see one of these little guys, I will shower them with love and kisses just like I did when they were here.

Emma and Bailey!

Here's an update from one of the families who adopted 2 of the puppies!




Bailey and Emma are thriving and happy as can be. We took them into the vet the Tuesday after we brought them home because their incisions were opening up a bit. They got some shiny new staples and antibiotics and were given a clean bill of health. In fact you should feel very good about the job you did fostering all these little pups. Our vet, Dr Johnson at Washington Square Vet Clinic said these two were the healthiest pound pups she’d ever seen. She went so far as to say that they were healthier than a lot of pure breed pups she sees. You probably know how hard it can be to give dogs pills, and one of our last dogs could tell if there was a pill hidden in a treat and would find it and spit it out, but these two are funny. They will find the pill and spit it out but then pick it right up and eat it just as if it was part of the treat. Deanna has taught both of them to sit and they are getting pretty good at it. They have a house full of toys and they love them, but somehow that table leg tastes a bit better. They are both crate training really well. The second weekend we had them we took them all the way to Middletown for a quick visit at my Mom’s and they slept in their crate in the back seat the whole way up and back. Last night Bailey was sleepy but restless and off she went to lie down in their crate. They were doing pretty good with house training but back slid yesterday with all the rain. They aren’t too keen on rainy days yet. The joy they bring us outweighs any grief they cause and it’s been (almost) nothing but smiles the whole time.

Rest in Peace

He had a good life, too short, but he was happy. Einstein was diagnosed with fluid on the brain. He started to exhibit behavior that indicated brain damage. Saturday afternoon, he was wrapped in a blanket, held close and had a gentle end.

In an effort to say good-bye to this little character who touched all of our hearts, here's a list of great things about Einstein. All of my helpers are sad and learning one of the hard lessons of life. They've each contributed a little something:

Einey was my favorite. He was the nicest of the lot and he didn't bite.
I loved the way he pranced when he played.
His unusual head gave him an almost human appearance (if he were a cartoon human).
He liked to cuddle.
He didn't let his disability get in the way of his puppyhood.
He was cute.
Einstein was always ready to curl up in your arms and be held.
At night, I'd shine a light on the pile of pups, just to make sure. Einie's head would always pop up and his bug eyes would always find mine.
He learned his name within the first week.
We made his life great - that's all Einny ever knew. It's impossible to guess outcomes, so it only makes sense we'll try to help someone who won't make it. I think that's what makes me like to foster - knowing I tried.
Einstein was special.
Einny is in a better place now and we can all move forward.

Give your puppies an extra hug tonight, for Einstein.

Adopt these 2 puppies!

I returned all of the shelter supplies today and discovered that there are 2 puppies still available for adoption! I can't believe it. But I know that you're all going to rush down to the Petaluma Animal Shelter tomorrow at noon when they open and have a bidding war over those little guys. They are awesome pups. Check out the photos. I was trying to get them to pose... but one stole Chief's leash and the other grabbed the camera. They need to get into their forever homes ASAP so that they can start learning some manners.

Seriously, adopting a dog, especially in the puppy stage is a big decision. We now have a 9 week old puppy and a 3 year old dog. They'll be with us long after my kids graduate from high school, maybe after they're out of college. That's a commitment. And a puppy has initial vet bills. The bills come back again as they get older and require more vet attention.

But if you're a dog person, you know that every penny spent on new slippers (because that great dog chewed yours up) is worth it. Already, Chief has completed our family in a way I hadn't expected. He and Charlie play and play. My sons are old enough to handle taking him outside for his business. They're contributing to his training and they'll be involved in his formal classes. My husband cradles him like a baby (and will continue that practice long after anyone else can hold him!). It's all working out.

So if you want a dose of puppy love in your life, grab one of these dogs!

Only 2 Dogs

Wow, it's been a restful few days. I've only had to deal with 2 dogs. Amazing! And just as time-consuming. Because now, I'm trying to acclimate Chief to our routine - house training, cat manners, playing with Charlie (our 3 year old dog), getting used to the crate. He's doing very well. Any transgression is really our fault for not watching his signals closely enough.

I've found a puppy play class for him that we'll start in a few weeks. Then we'll move on to training classes. I'm reading books and consulting websites about training. But mostly, we're just enjoying his exuberance. He brings out the playfulness in all of us.

I'm wondering how the other pups are doing. After spending all that time with them, I can't help but worry about their first nights away from their pack. As soon as we brought Chief up to the main part of our house, he ran back down to his laundry-room den to look for his siblings. He has Charlie to help him navigate life from puppyhood into dog-dom, but what about the others? Contact me and I'll post pictures and stories. Let's get these guys together sometime. Will they remember each other?

I know I'll never forget them.

The Big Day

Once upon a time, all 11 puppies could curl up in my lap. Last night, it was only one, Chief. He's ours. The family who'd wanted to adopt him decided that it just wasn't the right time for a puppy. I'm grateful that they could make that decision. Because now, we have a new dog! I'd been feeling pretty sad about saying good-bye to all the pups. But now that we get to keep one, it's so much easier. And the time is right for us to have another dog. Especially this one. He chose us from the start, I resisted because I had 11 other dogs to think about. But now I know this is right.

All the puppies were neutered or spayed yesterday. They did fine. They came home last night for some rest. But they didn't really want to rest. Every few hours I fed them a little, they played and then they finally crashed around 11. No one woke me up until 7:30. But then, they wolfed down a pile of food and I rewarded them with a romp in the backyard. They'd all been out there with me or with another pup, but never all of them at once. They swarmed through the ivy, they raced around the deck, they tried to intimidate the neighbor dogs. My dog would have no part of that many puppies. Now, they're asleep again, waiting for their big moment. I'll bring them to the shelter this morning so that they can go home with their families.

It's a big day for all of us.

Our last moments with the pups

It's Thursday night. My husband is working late. One son has been away on a class trip all week; due home tomorrow. The pups will get their surgery tomorrow and go to their forever homes on Saturday. They may stay at the shelter tomorrow night. This could be their last night with us.

It's almost better that I don't know. And if you've been following, it's exactly the opposite of what I said about anticipation being part of the process! Part of me can't wait to not be responsible for 11 puppies. But most of me can't imagine life without them. Who will greet me with bright, shiny faces every morning? Who will vie for my lap after their morning feeding? How could anyone else possibly meet their needs, know every little thing about them?

And of course, they're ready for their new families. They need to stretch their legs and figure out what life is like without their siblings. They need to start doing their business outside which is only possible with some one-on-one attention. They need to stop being little baby puppies and move on to their next phase of puppyhood.

Tonight when I picked the pups up from the shelter I was reminded of my days in the library software world. We'd have a new software release yearly, and have to install it at all of the libraries. One year, we hit a critical mass of too few staff and too many customers. We had to work 4 weekends in a row to get all of the new software installed with minimal disruption to the customers. It was crazy and invigorating at the same time. We all got overtime pay, but that didn't compensate for working for an entire month with no time off.

At the same time, the staff grew closer. We did little things to keep ourselves going. For example, after each successful installation, we'd wring a bell, broadcasting it throughout the company. The resulting cheer varied depending on who was in the building. When the president of the company was there, he'd always respond with something entertaining which was not so easy for a quiet guy like him.

Tonight at the shelter, the atmosphere was the same. Everyone was helping to get the puppies vaccinated, or organizing the supplies for tomorrow's surgeries. It was electric. During a quiet moment, Jeff confessed that even on his busiest, craziest days, he goes home with a smile on his face because he knows that he's making a difference in the lives of animals and people. That's huge.

So here's my big thank you to everyone who helped raise these puppies!

The volunteers at the shelter were always ready to help load puppies into my car and tell me about the time they spent with the little guys. They'd stay as long as necessary to clean up the inevitable mess left by 11 dogs-to-be.

Renee, at the front desk always had a smile for me, whether I was dropping off or picking up. It's not easy to get 11 puppies through the door. I'd try to get them to the shelter before visiting hours, which meant that I left the door unlocked for a few minutes. That always resulted in someone coming in to renew a dog license or ask about a cat. Even though Renee had lots of work to do that had to be done before office hours, she took it in stride, shifted gears and helped who ever needed her.

Arte, the animal care technician was always ready to help me load pups, or distract them so that I could get in the play yard door with their food. She has a tough job, working behind the scenes as well as with the public trying to get animals adopted and at the same time, cleaning up after them and caring for their needs. She's always smiling and knows exactly what's happening with every animal at the shelter.

Jason and Andi are the Animal Control Officers. It's their job to go out on calls, rescue animals, file reports. But they do so much more than that. They basically do anything anyone else can't get to. That included puppy transport from my house to the shelter, garbage pick up at my house (those little buggers create a mess...). But more than all of that, they were always on hand to debrief with me about whatever was happening, offering suggestions about using shredded paper, or lavishing praise on my dog.

Jeff is the Animal Shelter manager. He's the one who got us into this adventure in the first place! What a great guy. He's full of energy and ideas, always trying to improve life for animals and people, but more than willing to help behind the front desk or clean up some poop. He helped us set up the enclosure at our house and transported puppies, food, bedding - whatever we needed.

And last, but not least, Kathy the shelter supervisor. This woman is a gem in the animal care world. We've talked every day for the past 6 weeks. Yes, most of our conversations center around puppy care (poop and food and behavior and schedules), but I've come to know Kathy as competent, compassionate and realistic. I could never have fostered these puppies without Kathy's support and daily pep talks. One of the first days, she came to the house to weigh the pups. It was quite a production, but of course, she did it all quickly and with such care. And now I know that the precious hour she took out of her day was never regained. She's responsible for so much at the shelter. I don't know when she sleeps. But these puppies are thriving because of her thoughtfulness and knowledge.

The puppies are asleep now. I have to stop myself from waking them to give me one last face licking. They're ready to move on.

Our Limitations

I'm a pretty fortunate person to be in a position to foster these pups and help them grow up a little. I haven't done it alone - the shelter staff are amazing, my neighbors and friends have come through for me in numerous ways, my boss is tolerant of my tardiness - but even so, it's from a position of privilege that I'm able to 'give' for these animals.

So when people thank me for my hard work, or comment on my commitment, it feels weird. Don't get me wrong, I love the praise (hmmm, therapy time needed to figure that one out...), but I realize that this is a mixture of selfish indulgence on my part and genuine donation of time, energy & love, no strings attached.

I keep thinking about my grandpa. He was a really smart guy who lived in the same house for his whole life in a small town in Wisconsin. He was a plumber, and local fix-it guy. He'd often forget to charge his customers, much to my grandma's annoyance, and eventually died because of complications from inhaling something toxic while fixing someone's old pipes for free. He set a good example for all of us - do what you love and everything will work out just fine.

My dad is cut from the same cloth. He still lives close to that little town. After every snowstorm, he's out plowing his drive, and anyone else's who can't do it for themselves. And I know he does more than that, which he never tells anyone about.

This isn't 'community service' for which you get credit and accolades. This is just human kindness. So I follow the tradition. I'm just doing my part.

But here's the difference. I don't seem to be able to help people. I didn't open my house to a family in need. I don't volunteer at COTS with any of their numerous successful programs. I'm not sure how I figured it out, but I discovered my limitations. I can work with animals, but not people. (It'll take some mighty expensive therapy to figure that one out! Or maybe I'll just spend a day petting the puppies and it will all become crystal clear.)

That's what makes this world work. We all do what we can, when we can, for whomever we can. Karma. Give a little, get a little.

Missy (Momster) is back at the shelter tonight. She was more than interested in her new family's cat; she wanted to eat it. They struggled with the decision. They love Missy. And they love their cat. But it's not morally right to replace one animal with another. They are a wonderful, loving family and they're doing the right thing. And now, we know for certain that Missy must be placed with a cat-less family.

It's hard to face our own limitations. But we all have them.

Of course I wanted to bring her home with me tonight. But Kathy (the voice of reason) convinced me that it wasn't fair to the puppies or Missy or myself.

As I tucked Missy into her new dorm-room at the shelter tonight, I envied her bed. She's warm and cozy and cared for. She's not scrounging for food from garbage cans, or sleeping under a bridge with one eye open. She's not getting mauled by her 11 puppies. She'll be more than just fine. She will find her forever family.

Catch-up time

I've been unusually quiet since it's been unusually chaotic here. I can barely keep ahead of the pups latest tricks. Actually, I can't. Yesterday, I went out to the car, realized I forgot my keys, came back into the house. As I grabbed the keys from the kitchen counter, I spotted something brown and furry in the corner. An escapee. What? How did that happen. As soon as the others heard me in the kitchen, they stormed the baby gate. 10 puppies rushed through the house. Stunned, I fixed the hole in the fence, then ran up and down the stairs to retrieve one puppy at a time. It was crazy.

When I returned from my appointment, I surveyed the damage. They'd climbed through the stair rails onto a table, knocked off newspapers, bedding. They'd dumped some garbage. And since their perimeter had gotten bigger, they'd pooped at the edge. I spent the day cleaning, reinforcing the enclosure and taking the puppies outside for a break.

Most loved the backyard and our living room. They all had a turn at stealing my dog's toys and napping on his bed. He was fine with the whole scene as long as there weren't more than 2 little mongrels in his face.

On Saturday, all the pups spent the day at the shelter. They played in the outside pen. It was so fun to watch them run and tumble.

Then on Sunday, in the beautiful sunshine, the pups got to play at the park. We made a huge enclosure and let them go. We walked all of them on leashes. Or really, they walked around with leashes attached to people. It was important for them to have a good first experience on the leash - no pulling, lots of freedom. We were a spectacle that attracted a crowd. People got to hold a puppy and play. It was all very well supervised. The pups are in a stage where they're better one-on-one, or maybe two-on-one. All of them at once is just overwhelming to them as well as to people. And any negative experience could impact their future. With such a large space and constant supervision, we were able to give the puppies a fun afternoon. They slept well that night.

A few more days and they'll go to their new homes. I wasn't ready last week, but now I am. They need their families, some space and to start their training. They are all using newspapers now for their bathroom needs. I know many of them will respond to being outside more. But with 11, I can't possibly keep track of it all and be consistent. I'll miss them, of course, but they're ready.

Last Times

If I had known last night was the last that Momster (Missy) would spend in our house, would I have done anything differently? Would I have given her an extra hug, fed her a dinner of steak and potatoes, covered her with my own comforter?

She got adopted today! At this very moment, she's curled up on a couch, surrounded by her new family. A shelter volunteer really bonded with her this week and has decided to foster her with the intent to adopt. I got to speak with the family this afternoon and tell them about all the little things that Missy loves: chew toys, warm blankets, leaning into you and wriggling her whole body in greeting.

I've said a lot of good-byes over the years (am I really that old?). And I can't decide if it's better to know in advance, or be taken by surprise. On the one hand, I agree with the fox in 'The Little Prince'. He says that if you're going to be tamed by someone, consistency is important so that the one to be tamed can anticipate the meeting. Part of the process is the anticipation. I contend that this is the same process in reverse when letting go. If you can anticipate the moment, you can savor the little things, you can hold onto the memory. I have a handful - the last time I saw my grandma, leaving a boyfriend at the port in Genoa, watching the taxi drive away with my friends from Tunis as I boarded the plane for home. I still hold these moments close and think about them.

But the abrupt departures are harder. Suddenly, I have to say good-bye in a room full of people. Momster and I had a moment to stare at each other and know that we couldn't have raised these 11 beasts without each other. She'll move on, probably already has. But I'll never forget the opportunity she's given me to help her through this time. She's a good girl with a bright future.

And I remember my handful of quick lasts - where was I when my grandpa died?, when did I nurse my babies for the last time?, when was Kiko's last romp in the woods?

And now, the puppies are calling. They've been fed, they have water, and a warm bed. Maybe they miss their mom too.

Robins

The robins are back! Every year, our back yard is full of robins for 2 days. I mean, branch-sagging full. We must be in some migratory path. I first noticed them when I took a break one year at the end of January, beginning of February. I'd read about a woman who committed to sitting outside every day, rain or shine, for an hour. She had been feeling disconnected from nature and the seasons. So sometimes she sat for an hour in the morning with the paper and cup of tea, sometimes at night with friends, always in her little urban backyard. She noticed things she'd never noticed before.

I could never commit to an hour a day of anything (except maybe picking up puppy poop :), so I just tried to take some time in the afternoons to look out into the backyard. We have a creek running through our yard, so there's always something going on - deer, raccoons, even people. But when I noticed the robins, I got really excited and I bought some feeders. But 2 days later, the robins were gone. The Stellar Jays enjoyed their food. So I watched the pair of jays for the year. Then the robins came back. When I noticed them the 2nd time, I noticed that our Tulip Tree was starting to bud. 2 days later, the robins were gone, but I watched the tree bloom.

Now, when I notice the robins, I know spring is around the corner. Since moving to California from Wisconsin, I'd been looking for something to mark the seasons, the passage of time. Weather was such a big part of my life in the Midwest. When you live there, you have to know when a storm is coming - rain or snow. You have rituals around Memorial Day (the first cold swim in the lake) and Labor Day (back to school and the last official day of summer). But in California, it's possible to wear shorts in the middle of 'winter', then drive for a few hours to go skiing. I miss that ever-present reminder of where we are in the seasonal year.

I guess the return of the robins each year helps me mark time here.

And now I'll always remember that the robins came one year and the puppies left.

The Time is Now!

Ok, people. There are only 3 adorable puppies left. Your perfect dog could be, right this minute, sound asleep in my laundry room. Act now. For a limited time only - puppies!

It's been interesting to see which puppies got chosen first. Someone wanted the biggest male. Another person wanted the fiesty female to go with her other fiesty dog. Someone wanted the runt. Everyone wanted a different puppy. So it's not that the rejects are left. The 3 remaining puppies are very good choices. Actually, I may be biased, but there's not a bad one in the bunch. Really. None of them is aggressive, none is shy, none is aloof. They're all good dogs.

When we picked our malamute from his litter, my husband had a specific color in mind. I just didn't want the biggest one. Turns out Floyd was perfect for us. Would any of them have been ok? Maybe. But I don't think so. I think you choose the dog and the dog chooses you in some kind of reciprocal unspoken agreement.

So come on down to the animal shelter. See if your heart doesn't melt when his eyes meet yours and his tail wags out of control.

There are only 3 left...

Moments

Do you ever have those moments of serenity? Wishing you could freeze time and live out your days in this configuration of people and events and animals? I had one of those tonight. My family is pretty settled right now in their school/sports/work lives. I'm having an adventure that I never thought I'd get to have. It's good here.

But this is rare for me. I'm not a high energy person, but I'm always 'complicating' things, as my grandmother used to say. It took me a long time to understand what she meant and then to accept that this was a positive part of who I am. I'm the kind of person who's always looking at the next thing. I enjoy what I'm doing now, but I'm always trying to make it better. When my career involved a full-time paycheck, I managed the help desk for a software company. I was always looking for smarter ways to work without burning out everyone I worked with. It was fun because I never knew what the work day would bring. Then motherhood brought a different pace and much different rewards. I've learned to live more in the moment through my kids, while still planning the next thing.

These puppies have reminded me again about the immediacy of life. They have needs, right now, not in 10 minutes, right now, right now, please. I've let all kinds of things fall by the wayside - housework, knitting projects, yardwork, a letter from the City demanding that we cut down a tree. But I've kept up with work and the kids' school stuff and getting the boys to sports events and reading. I guess when the puppies are all adopted and in their homes, I'll have time to catch up with those other things.

It's been a good break to be forced to prioritize. It helps put it all into perspective.

As I think about my next thing, I have mental lists of projects (plant some flowers, clean the bathroom, hang some pictures, paint a wall). But I know from experience that when one door closes, another one opens.

And what's behind that new door is always more exciting than what's come before it.

Outside Time

Today, we took Charlie and Momster to a fenced-in field. They had a blast! Momster had her nose to the ground or in the air the whole time. She leaped through the tall grass and her little stump of a tail was in constant motion. She was so happy to be off-leash and free.

Then it was the puppies' turn. I set up a pen on the grass and let them run around. We almost caused a few car accidents because it was such an attraction. There was interest in the 3 that are still available. Then Chief's new family came by! It was so great to see them and their new-ish dog, Jenny. That's going to be one happy family.

All the puppies like being on the lawn, smothering kids with licks and getting lots and lots of attention. A good day to be outside.

Too Tired to Sleep

Little Emma was just too wound up to sleep. She was keeping everyone else awake with her insistence that they could surely play for just one more hour. So my husband brought her up to his comfy chair. Immediately, the puppy pile was silent. He held her close and stroked her forehead. She was asleep in minutes.

Tomorrow, the shelter is closed. I'll gather all my volunteers for a big play session and a thank you. I could never have done this alone. Hopefully the weather will be perfect and we can sit out on the lawn and watch the puppies experience grass.

Best Behavior

The pups were on their best behavior today. Those adopted, spent the day at the animal shelter with their new families. The other 4 went to an adoption event at Petco. Einstein got adopted!

But now, they're crazy. They ate like fiends, checked out the new (clean!) garage, and are wrestling like mad. What is it about best behavior for a playdate, then meltdown for mom? All is well; I know they'll sleep like logs tonight.

I got to meet some of the new families. I'm glad to know them. It's not that I could keep all 11 puppies, or even one right now. But I would if I could. So, I want to know that they're all going to loving homes. I helped give them a start, now it's time to launch them into the world. Hopefully, I'll be ready by the end of the week. There will be tears.

I've always wanted to be a puppy raiser for Canine Companions, or Guide Dogs for the Blind. It's a great program in which you raise a puppy from 8 weeks to 18 months. You get lots of support and dog training classes. But after just 4 weeks with these little guys, I know I'd never be able to give up a dog I'd had for 18 months.

So we'll just have to figure out the next adventure. Or maybe it'll just fall into my lap like these 11 puppies did.

Winter illnesses

My whole family is sick. My husband has pneumonia; my kids have bad colds; I've got some version of some gunky thing. But life goes on as it must with animals. I literally slogged through the day today, from one chore to the next. Good thing half the puppies visited the shelter. More adoptions! Tomorrow all 12 will be at the Petaluma Animal Shelter from noon -6. It would be so great if they all got adopted. They can't actually go home tomorrow; they still need their altering surgery. But all the paperwork can be completed.

When I took Charlie and Momster for their walk today, I realized how much she needs to get off the leash and run. When she first arrived, she was nursing often enough that exercise wasn't a priority for her. Now that her puppies don't need her much, she's ready to reclaim her life. We walked for an hour today and I think she could have done 2 more. Which makes me think that she's a young dog. Her breed tends to mellow out after 5 years old. She's not mellow. She's not wild either. She responds well to positive corrections. She pulls on the leash, but will come back to my side when she realizes that's what I want. She's very very good at waiting at the door, or the top of the stairs. 'Sit' isn't her favorite thing, but I think that position is uncomfortable for her while she's still producing milk. She'd like nothing better than to jump up on me. But if I move into her and say 'uh-uh', she responds. Someone's worked with her. She knows some things.

But she's not street-smart. She has a hard time staying on the sidewalk and would love to cross to the other side, then back, then back again, with her nose to the ground. Cars and trucks don't freak her out, but she will not walk across a metal grate.

I found a large fenced grassy area for tomorrow's play session. I can't wait to see the joy on her face when she can roam. She'll be a good dog for someone with a little energy and lots of love.

Play hard and sleep hard

Today, the girls went to the shelter. It looks like 2 of the 4 are spoken for! Nice. The pups are so different when they're in a smaller group. They're able to play more with each other, eat more leisurely, and sleep in a smaller pile. When they get back home, they rush around the garage, then find their bed, then look for the food bowls. Once they establish that all is the same, they settle in for a nap. Then it's back to a sort of routine. Eat, play, sleep. They're eating more at each meal, playing longer and harder, and sleeping less. Fun!

Letting Go

I dropped the boys off at the shelter today for some meet and greet time. I hung around because there were 2 families interested in adopting. One family had their eye on Chief. We talked, the puppies played and pooped. We talked some more.

Ever since we brought these little guys into our house, we've all wondered if we'd adopt one, and then which one it would be. Everyone is touched in a different way by different critters. Chief has grabbed our hearts in a way that the others haven't, yet. He'd fit well into our household. Two brown dogs.

But, I realized that he's not my dog. He's not the one for me. And since I know I'll be the main caregiver of our next dog, that dog really has to speak to me. There are so many dogs in need out there in the world. I'll find mine.

Anyway, this family will be great - kids, another dog - what more could Chief ask for. Well, maybe the prime spot on the couch for the Super Bowl! He's just that kind of dog.

And then when the pups came back home tonight, I heard that another family wants to adopt 2! Wow. I knew that they'd get adopted, but I had no idea it would happen quickly or how I'd react. I'm happy, of course. The shelter has a great screening system in place, so I know the pups will be adopted by good people. But I know 'adoption day' will be difficult.

All I have to do is walk into the room and 44 little paws come bounding toward me. 22 eyes are glued to me. 11 tails couldn't wag more. They're special and will always have a place in my heart.

Letting go.

Giving up

I can finally admit that sometime last week, I was ready to give up. I just couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't pick up another pile of poop, let alone 11 piles. I couldn't let my ankles be bitten. I couldn't mix another batch of food. I just wanted to read my book and knit and prepare for my classes and cook dinner for my family. I didn't want to think about walking 2 dogs and paying attention to 11 puppies. I didn't want to ask my neighbors for anymore newspapers. I didn't want to ask the shelter staff for clean bedding and even more food. I wanted to quit.

I admitted to myself that this was really hard work - back breaking work. And now that the puppies had outgrown the sleep-a lot-stage, they were less cuddly and in need of a different kind of attention. More work. More food. More poop. More work. I knew that every 3 or 4 hours, I'd have to redo the whole thing - mix food, clean up poop, facilitate nursing in shifts, clean up some more, encourage playing with toys rather than my hands, more cleaning. The whole process took 45 minutes to an hour. Just the thought of doing it was more than I could handle.

So I did what I always do when I'm feeling overwhelmed - I hunkered down and got to work. I streamlined the whole operation. I started to train the little buggers not to bite me. I took my dog and the mom out for a walk every day that it wasn't raining and some days when it was. I started thinking about the future - when these pups would all be adopted into loving homes and I'd have my life back.

Kathy, at the shelter could tell that I was near the end. But neither of us wanted to say it out loud for fear that we'd create some unthinkable situation. She took the puppies to the shelter for some afternoon play sessions. She started asking me specific questions like, "do you need more bedding," rather than just saying, "what do you need?"

It all helped. I made it through. And one puppy has a family! She'll stay with the litter until she's old enough to be spayed, but she has a home! Wasn't that the goal?

When I agreed to try this crazy adventure, I knew I'd go through stages. Sort of like being in a foreign country for an extended period. There's initial euphoria when everything is new and rosy and quaint. Then reality sets in and you realize that these unfamiliar customs and modes are hard to get used to. Then when you're near the end of your stay, you get nostalgic for all of those things that had been annoying just a few weeks before. After college, I spent a year in Tunisia. It was fun and eye-opening and hard and exhausting and I'd do it again in a heart-beat.

I'm in the home stretch with these puppies. I already feel myself letting go. Well, maybe letting most of them go...

A break for me

I took part of the day off from puppy care to join my son at Bouverie Nature Preserve today. He's part of a jr. docent program. As the kids started their training, the parents hiked. My group went to see the Peregrine falcon nest at the waterfall. On the way, we saw a newt, banana slugs, turkey vulture remains, water in the creek. Our docents were incredibly knowledgeable and fun to hang out with. The weather was great until the hail started! It was so restorative to be out in nature, looking at the moment.

David Bouverie bought the original land as a retreat and destination for his wealthy San Francisco friends. Eventually, part of his mission was to instill a love of nature in young people. Being on that property reminded me of my great aunt. By the time I knew Aunt Len, she had a well-established apple orchard and sheep farm in Wisconsin. We'd help her pick apples, make apple cider and set up for the annual art fair. She hosted family Christmas parties and welcomed us into her life whenever we wanted to drop by. There were always too many animals to remember, living in her barn, or even in her house. During lambing season, she always had a few orphans sharing her bedroom. A trip to Aunt Len's was always an adventure.

As I got older, I learned her story. Her father had bought the farm for her when her fiance left her. She was sort of banished from the family and their upper class affairs. But she went back to school to learn about agriculture and started a new life. She continued to play cello in a local quartet and hosted the art fair in the orchards. She was every kid's idea of what life was all about. A free spirit who worked hard and enjoyed herself.

As we picked apples or made cider, she'd tell us stories. We never knew what was true and what was imaginary. But it didn't matter. It was a magical place in a magical time with a magical woman.

So as I hold my little Einstein or play hard with Bitey, I can't help but feel Aunt Len smiling down at me, approving of this little adventure.

Puppies' Day Out

The pups spent the day at the shelter, getting lots of attention from different folks. So good for them. They all ate, then crashed for a few hours. But now they're up again, hungry and ready to play. They're being a little rough with Einie, so he's helping me type.

The puppies don't all travel in one big group anymore (unless they're trying to get to the food bowls). Some pictures of their groups...

They keep growing! How does that happen? They got new collars on Friday and some are already too tight. Their personalities are starting to become more recognizable too. Chief is big and lazy and happy. He'll wrestle with the bunch or curl up on your lap. I have a feeling he'd love to lie at your feet and watch a football game. Then there's Biter. She's feisty and full of energy all the time. She lunges for your pant leg, lunges for your face, unties your shoes. But blowing in her face, or redirecting her puppy teeth works well. She'll figure it out. Then there's Einstein, of course, the smartest dog that ever lived. I swear he already knows his name. He's a little needy or maybe it's just because we all think he's special, so we pick him up a lot and cuddle.

The little rascals have claimed the garage as their playground. We covered the floor in shredded paper and there are cardboard boxes for them to chew on and wrestle around. Tina at Knotty Dogs http://knottydogs.com/ heard about the litter and donated some special little puppy rope toys. Usually, she puts treats in the knots, but she made some small ones without treats. The puppies prance around with them, shake their heads, tug with each other. Or lie down for a good chew. They've also discovered tennis balls. Their eyes are tracking movement pretty well, so they can follow the ball across the floor.

These guys will probably be ready for adoption in 2 weeks. It will be so good for them to get the right home. They'll need lots of playtime and exercise. If you're interested, fill out an application at the Petaluma Animal Shelter:

http://www.petalumaanimalshelter.org/

Newspapers needed!

Does anyone read the newspaper in print anymore? I could use some newspapers to line the puppy pen. Drop them off at my house or at the shelter please!!

http://www.petalumaanimalshelter.org/

If you have the old-fashioned shredded paper (not cross-cut), I could use that too.

Thanks in advance. Raising these puppies has become a huge community effort. I appreciate all the support and attention that they're getting.

Names

We really wanted to take the pups outside today. But this cold rainy weather forced us to use our garage instead. They had a blast! Finally, they had the space to run and jump and wrestle. Again, we had lots of visitors to help us corral them and cuddle them. It also gave us a chance to watch their behavior and think about names.

The three males in my house want to give everyone a name from the Simpsons. Since I tend to use nicknames anyway, I don't care what the 'official' names of these guys are. Chocolate Charlie may be Charlie to the rest of the family, but I call him Charles Nelson Riley, Charles Barkley and Cha Cha depending on my mood and his behavior.

So here are a few of the names:

Mom is Marge (Momster to me)
The biggest male is Chief Wiggums (Anvil)
The next biggest male and the sleepiest is Homer (Fatty)
Bart is rambunctious
Professor Frink (Einstein or Einy)
One really tenacious girl got the name: Krusty
Selma has a raspy bark

They're eating more and pooping more! Of course.

I also went out to Big Dog Rescue today to get more food. They are an amazing animals rescue organization who work with the Animal Shelter. Our pups came to the shelter through this group. They've donated lots and lots for their care. In the first 5 minutes of walking through the door, I met an incredible Goldendoodle, an Australian Shepherd, 4 Italian Greyhound pups and 2 Chinese Crested hairless dogs. I was ready to take them all home. But...

Check them out at:
http://www.homelesshounds.us/

Birthdays

What do you get a boy who's about to turn 12? A puppy! Or maybe 11 puppies?...

My son's birthday is next week. I can't figure out what to get him or when to shop. He reads, a lot, so I have a stack of books that I've been meaning to pass along to him. I'll wrap those. But he needs something cool and hip that he can brag about at school. Or does he?

I have to admit that I have no desire to adopt one of these puppies. And if a puppy became a birthday present for my son, it would become my responsibility - that's the nature of kids' busy lives - they don't have time to meet the needs of a dog. I know that every last one of these puppies will find a good home because they're cute and cuddly and wonderful. So why would I adopt one.

However, I could see adopting 2. They need each other. I can't imagine any of them being split up from their pack. They've done everything together since birth. How unnatural to break that union. But could we really be a 3-dog family?

Chocolate Charlie has been ours for 3 years. He came to us out of necessity. Kiko (my forever dog) had to be put down suddenly. Floyd, who'd been raised by Kiko, flipped out. He started howling when we left him alone. He escaped from the yard, headed to the park and caused mayhem at the playground. He was lonely and really needed a friend.

Dylan was going through a rough patch at school, so we thought we'd get him his own dog. We looked at all of the rescue sites online and went to an adoption day. He'd had his eye on a black lab who seemed great online, but had no interested in Dylan or any other human being when we met him in person. Dylan was devastated. He thought he'd made a commitment to adopt this dog who didn't actually care about him. Near tears, he kept looking at this 5 month old chocolate lab pup. So we took him for a walk. Chocolate Charlie couldn't take his eyes off of Dylan. They walked together, curled up together, love at first sight.

We took Charlie home. Dylan has been whispering his secrets to Charlie ever since. They sleep together, Dylan feeds him. It's a good thing. But in the end, it's up to me to walk the dog and train the dog. That's ok. A boy and his dog - nothing better.

So, what do I want in a new dog? A female; a breed that's not considered dangerous (I can't tolerate the perceptions people have of pit bulls and Dobermans...); a bit of a challenge; a playmate for Charlie; a dog that will become a therapy dog.

Could one of these puppies satisfy my needs? Could the mom?

(Chocolate Charlie came to us from: http://www.lakecountyanimalservices.org/
we help them walk dogs whenever they're in Petaluma and it fits our schedule...)

Einstein

All of the puppies look pretty much the same. They differ in size, but because there are so many of them, it's still hard to tell them apart.

Except for Einstein. He's definitely the runt and his little forehead protrudes . But he's not that far behind his next smallest sister on the scale. He's been steadily gaining weight - a good measure of progress. He plays, he's rough when he needs to be, he doesn't get picked on any more than anyone else. Yet, I wonder, I worry. I watch him for signs of anything abnormal. But what do I know from abnormal? I've never done this before.

Kathy (Animal Shelter wonder-woman) and I have discussed him at length. Is he eating? Yes. Is he getting pushed out of the feeding frenzy? No. Does he nurse? Yes, in fact, I let him nurse for both sessions while I switch out the others. Does he play? Like a wild man. So we stop worrying for a little while.

Then Kathy mentioned him to the vet, who said that there is a congenital condition that does present with a huge forehead. But he might not have it, Einstein might be just fine. If he's not, it's in his genes and there's nothing we can do about it, or it's not a result of anything we've done. Einstein might be just fine.

Yesterday, he was crying and whining so loudly, that I had to scoop him up and carry him around while I prepared his dinner. His siblings slept soundly, but he just couldn't be consoled. Finally, he fell asleep in the crook of my elbow as I mixed and poured with my left hand. It reminded me of the infant days with my boys - I got really good at doing things one-handed. Because, really, what do you do with a crying baby (puppy)? You pick him up, of course.

What is it about the runts? Wilbur was the runt that Fern rescued and we all grew to love. Is it something about 'against all odds we will survive'? Is it about rooting for the underdog? Is it about helping others who need so much?

My boys left a school situation in which most of the resources were allocated to those in desperate need. The right thing to do, of course. But over time, I grew to realize that my children were suffering because of it. As the resources dwindled (education cuts are in the news daily), there was just nothing left for the kids who were doing ok. But I contend that these kids are not ok. They're actually becoming another at-risk group because the resources are spread too thin. So we left.

We are fortunate to have choices. I home-schooled for a year, I researched the options and found a wonderful learning environment for my kids. But what if I had to choose between feeding Einstein and feeding one of the robust puppies. What if my choice determined how much he thrived.

We all want everyone to have equal access to the resources regardless of race or economic status or geography. But that's just not realistic. In this country of individuals, there are going to be differences. And we celebrate these differences. But is there a limit? If someone is 'too different' do we shut them out, do we determine their level of survival?

Of all the kitten litters we helped raise last summer, we only had 2 obvious runts. They both died. One wasn't eating or thriving in any way and had to be put down after 3 days in our care. I was absolutely devastated. How could this happen? What had I done? Well, actually, I'd done nothing. It was the law of nature at work. The other kitten was 10 oz. when he came with his 4 siblings. It was hard to help raise that many little guys. But little Divot (golf course rescue) ate well, gained weight, stood up to his siblings, loved to cuddle. He made it all the way through 4 weeks with us, through his neuter surgery, put up for adoption, then his eyelid started attaching to his eye. He had to be put down because of this congenital condition. It was absolutely the right thing to do. He was suffering and would have had a hard life. But... my heart broke. The last few nights he was with us, he slept on my bed. He was so considerate, giving me most of the pillow. That last night, he burrowed under the covers and curled up in the curve of my knee. It was a short life, but a good one.

And Einstein might be just fine.

Selfish

I move through my day, meeting the needs of my family and these 11 puppies and their mother as if there aren't human beings buried beneath the rubble in Haiti. It's what has to be done. We must move forward and we have immediate needs. The puppies can't understand, but my children are old enough to know about this tragedy and devastation. As we talked about the situation, they got very uncomfortable at their inability to do anything immediately to save lives. They fidgeted in their chairs and finally had to get up and move around in order to work it out. I explained that the airport is damaged and the port is damaged and the roads are damaged, so that there's not much of a way to get help into the country or move supplies around if they make it through. And that many people in the government are still missing, so coordinating the efforts to be effective is very difficult. They felt helpless. I let them struggle, like a puppy trying to get to his mother.

Then I told them that former President Bill Clinton is working to help and he said that the best thing for us to do right now is to donate money. $5 or $10 dollars will make a huge difference. We've made our donation.

But we're also going to a hockey tournament and a basketball tournament and getting together with friends and feeding puppies. Because every puppy needs to eat and every person needs to smile.

Growing little dogs

When the pups first arrived a week and a half ago, they were little. They fit into 2 large pet carriers. They could sleep in one 2' x 2' area, but preferred to pile on top of each other. They ate out of little cat dishes. They looked small. I could scoop one up with just one hand.

Now, they're miniature dogs. I need both hands when I pick them up in order to stabilize their round bellies. They sleep next to each other in a 4' x 4' space. They've graduated to dog bowls with high sides. They're growing!

I reconfigured the pen yesterday in order to give them more play space and to give me easier access for cleanup. I had so much fun, I decided to do it all over again today. I extended their pen so that they could have a designated eating area, and maybe pooping area. I know - they should not be expected to poop so close to their food. I'll work on that. But I think it's really important to get their pooping area far away from their bed area.

These are photos of the feeding process. First, we put down bowls of gruel. The puppies eat their fill. Then we lure mom onto the bed in the main enclosure and let her nurse half of the puppies. 10 to 15 minutes later, we make the switch. (It's so great to have all this help.) After the nursing session, the puppies play, bite ankles, curl up on laps, and finally crash.

Helpers

I'm getting a ton of help with the pups. Neighborhood families are pitching in holding puppies, cleaning up, making food, saving their newspapers. It's been a great way to spend time together.